The husband leaves, we crumble.
And I’m pathetic.
It’s not like he is on vacation or anything.
He’s WORKING. And I’m pitiful.
I’ve got to find those bootstraps
so I can yank ‘em up, wipe the sad eyes away,
and get it together.
Possible?! Just maybe.

And then…
encouragement that I needed -
Isaiah 41:10
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Hitting just the right spot.
Ahh, let’s just savor those words for a few minutes!

And then…..and THEN
as I was going about the rest of my work day,
minding my own business,
I get my first real LIVE phone call from my sweet man.
What, what??
I had to quickly yank those bootstraps up
and clear the sadness out of my voice
so that I could hear his.

SO. AWESOME.

Now, surely we can do this.

As I’ve recently had to write a “blurb” about myself  for the food article I write for The Wedded Bliss, I felt the need to tell you how hard it was to do one.  Blek. Blek. Blek.  It was the first time I’ve ever had to do something like that and it was tough.  I basically had to get my family to do it for me.  Have you ever had to write a blurb about yourself?!?  I guess it’s sort of like a mini-resume’ – what you do, who you are, your experiences, etc. Blek.

Lately at my day job, I’ve been working on Advent info for our church and church website, I am reminded once again of what it was like to write that blurb.  Our church asked twenty five members, of all ages, to write a daily devotional for each day of Advent.  (And they are awesome!)  We also asked everyone to write a short blurb about themselves to go along with their devotional, just so everyone would know who wrote it and a little about them.

As I’ve had the chance to read through these devotionals and blurbs many times, I am reminded that maybe we should all take some time and write a “blurb” about ourselves.   Not to pat ourselves on the back – or to see how long our list of credits is but just take some time to evaluate.  What IS IT that you do or wish you could do?!   What do you contribute to your church family, community or at your job?!  Do you wish you could do more or less of something?!?  Again, I’m not asking anyone to boast, brag, or compare, instead to THINK as this year comes to a close.  Just take a few personal moments and evaluate what it is you do and what it is you would like to change before a new year begins!  Maybe it’s time to simplify or yank yourself up by the boot straps and get busy.

Again, this is not a competition, please no wagering!

Just some thoughts for you on this beautiful fall day!  Have fun writing

Have a great week!

The following quote from my daughter’s blog pretty much sums up our thoughts for this weekend…

“Remember in Mean Girls when Cady had that party and didn’t go to Janice’s art show?
Then Janice and Damien drive by and catch her,
and after Janice yells at Cady, Damien screams,
“I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!!”
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m sorry.
I really hope it’s cozy living under that rock.

And if you throw a crazy rave party instead of coming to my art show,
i’ma want my pink shirt back too.”

Don’t ya love it!??!  SO, come check out the Art Stroll, you never know what you’ll find!

I remember learning what a NAVBAR was – and I thought, ‘OH, now THAT makes sense’ (kinda) – ‘it’s a navigation bar – it’s what takes you to the different pages on a site’ – But since I don’t use ‘their’ language everyday, I have no clue what those words are half the time. So I google a word/term and there always seems to be a simpler word behind it. And then I think, ‘why didn’t they just use the simpler word?!’…uggghhhh. My. Brain. Is. Tired. I know my brain needs the workout…but geez, louise – these cramps are killin’ me! Goodnight.

“By default, I generally think I suck and don’t have much confidence in my work. But then I edit a photoshoot and think “oh yeah, I don’t suck”.

Reading that from such an incredible photographer is so encouraging. As I illustrate, I feel the same way at times – the old brain has a tendency to ‘boo’ me – but when I begin to put a face and some hair on ‘my people,’ I see them come to life and I fall in love once again.  I love the way my drawings make people smile – they make me smile as well.  Drawing and painting are such escapes and de-stressers.  Your mind goes to such a great place.  I hope you have something you can escape into as well…something creative?!?

It’s been so neat to see and experience God using everyday things to encourage me along this path.  We all need encouragement from time to time…confirmation that we are doing the right thing or to keep on keepin’ on. Scouring the internet looking for artistic encouragement, I’ve stumbled upon some amazing help in the past couple of years.  Even though encouragement often comes in the strangest ways, discouragement is always right around the corner as well isn’t it?!?  The feeling of alone-ness in doing what you are doing whether it be a stay at home mom or starting your own biz. That huge mountain you feel you are climbing to get anywhere often seems impossible.  My most recent find of help and encouragement is Kelly Rae Roberts.  Though I do not know her from Adam, and she does not know me, her blog posts are so spot on for me. She has a list of posts in chronological order of each step in her creative career.  AMAZING is all I can say.  She has written so much about how hard it was for her to find stories of how other women, before her, had ‘made it’ in the creative world.  She has set out to change that.  Getting real and getting honest.  Such a help to me that I must quote a line from a post I recently found of hers from 2009~ which hit me dead on this week.

…..”no one tells you that when you chase your dreams, that overwhelm is sometimes inevitable, that there will be a day every now and again that you feel 100% defeated. no one tells you that when you have success, that you’ll be up against some serious force/energy/momentum and that it can be hard to navigate sometimes. and nobody tells you that once you do have success, you’re not allowed to complain about any of it and that you’ll be judged when you do. nobody tells you that pioneering a new path for your life can be isolating if you’re not careful to balance it with perspective and simply getting out of the house every single day. and most importantly, no one tells you that there is a price you pay when you put your heart and soul so deeply into the footprint of your passion/work that you aren’t as available to those you hold dear”…….”as much as i love and adore every square inch of my life, i keep repeating the same burnout/overwhelm story every few weeks, like an annoying broken record that just won’t stop. in my heaviest moments, i feel inaccessible to my friends and family because of choices i’ve made to work rather than connect. it weighs heavy on my heart as i try to get a grip”…….” there are days in the mix where i stumble, question, and wonder why i can’t hold it together. in the end, i’m committed to riding out the growing pains of this life in the making. i wouldn’t have it any other way”…..

The paragraph above has been screaming in my head repeatedly for many months now. Many.  To the point that my poor husband has been checking out local psych wards. Kidding, I am kidding.  SURELY he hasn’t been doing that.  The truth is, it’s hard to be open and honest about struggles in our lives.  We all want the world to see our lives as perfect and put together.  When that is not the reality at all.  If everything were beautiful and perfect, we wouldn’t need Photoshop or Jesus.

The end.

Now I am officially old…I have preached! EEK!  Better go get my cane and head to town!

(illustration from way back to promote a cooking venture)

Earlier in the year, it became time to think through some hard thoughts about all of that.  Thoughts, dreams, plans, the future.  And since the mega bazillion-oid lottery didn’t pan out, opening that bakery with my name on it and an artists studio above it wasn’t in the foreseeable future. (wink)  After much thought, prayer and family discussion, it became increasingly evident that the baking is what needed to give.  Without being able to devote my full time to it, it just wasn’t cost effective.  But still couldn’t decide what to do.

I stumbled on an amazing opportunity at the first of the year – one that my family encouraged me like crazy to be a part of.  It was a consulting class with the great and amazingly talented Holli Conger!  An opportunity to be advised, directed and ask all the questions I could dream of – to learn about copyrighting, licensing, branding, and so much more.  I was again stretched and stretched and stretched.  Confirming yet again, it was time to focus more on illustrating.  Finding Making the time to draw, is such a struggle for me – especially when there are so many pulls and tugs in other directions AND when I see how big the hill is to climb…sigh.  It is easy to become discouraged and overwhelmed.  However, it was such a freeing moment when I announced that the baking/Crumbs portion of me would be taking an indefinite break.  Ahhhhh.  Of course, that’s when I had several calls within one week’s time for cake orders!  Isn’t that about right?!  But I tried to focus and remember to just say no.  Such a hard thing.  Such a hard thing.  And whether that means permanently or temporarily, only God knows.    Thank you though to all of my sweet, loyal Crumbs fans.  You have been some great supporters and cheerleaders and I am forever grateful!

As part of my fast and furious eight week consulting class with Holli, I was encouraged to think about using my name as my business title, for illustration work, instead of say, Crumbs & Crayons.  It’s funny that I remember James’ aunt mentioning years and years ago that she wished she had used her name for her antique business rather than a catchy title.  That always stuck with me.  However, it makes me very self conscious to have my name as the title of everything.  EEK.  But, that is what needed to be done.   After finding an available domain name, Charlotte Taylor Creates is where we are now.  It is what the saga has brought us to.  And we will see where it takes us from here.  I hope you’ll tag along in the journey.

Those vacation drawings were pretty crude and were done with pretty crude supplies.  But memories to last a lifetime.  We all had a blast taking part in drawing each day.  There were about 25-30 of us total when everyone arrived.  It took two separate houses to contain us that year – thankfully they were right next door to each other.  I wonder if Miramar Beach has been the same since?!?  Once the whole family figured out what I was doing, I think I recall some small bribes being offered to me…to be ‘drawn’ into the story.  But I won’t reveal any names Oh how everybody wanted to be in ‘The Book’.  After we got back to East Texas, we decided to make the drawings into a hardback book.   We titled it, ‘The Book’ – ha! Great fun.

Time went on, orders began to roll in for custom caricatures – our own daughter even wanted me to illustrate her wedding invitations! Awesome!  I continued drawing along with baking – and things continued to get more chaotic.  Things got a little crazy here.  First daughter graduates high school, first daughter goes to college, first daughter gets married, second daughter graduates high school, second daughter begins college as well, first daughter graduates first college, second daughter continues at college far away and then there’s another daughter that begins middle school, first daughter begins second college, and by the way, I have a son in law!!!! And all the while mom draws, bakes and works 4 days a week. EEK.  Hello Merry Maids!!!!!!! Where are you Merry Maids???????  Did you go to the wrong address????

No complaints here though.  This has been an incredible journey of growth.  Being stretched in ways I never thought possible.  Forced to learn bits of technology that I honestly never wanted to.  JPEG’s, PNG’s, HTML, CSS, Widgets, Plugins, Servers, Blogs, Copyrights… that’s all become part of our everyday thoughts and talks these days.  Learning that buttercream and East Texas DO NOT like each other.  Getting to be a part of the most important day in a girls life, ahh, weddings.  So many beautiful moments – so much learning.
So much still to learn.